48 way to torture or irritate Bastila Shan
by Mark Solo
Summary: Just some idea that came to me so enjoy. The titel says it all.


This was just an idea I got and decided to write. The text is random, but I hope you like it.

1. Ask her if she and Malak once were lovers. Then that you think they make a cute couple.

2. Ask her how much makeup she uses a day.

3. Tell her she is an annoying brat.

4. Tell her that she should confess her feelings for Carth.

5. Read her a Canderous/Bastila story.

6. Ask her if she still have that joy girl costume.

7. Tell her that Canderous is looking for her and he got a bunch of clothing under the arm and it looks as if it is the joy girl suit.

8. Ask her if she is of the dark side.

9 If she says no, tell her that the darkside leads too many abilities some considered to be unnatural and that her hair is of the darkside and that she should shave it of.

10. Tell her that master Vrook instructed you to tell her to shave her darkside hair of, because it is to unnatural and therefore of the darkside.

11. Get her caught under a mistletoe with Canderous.

12. And then with Carth.

13. Send her a valentine card and mark it from Canderous.

14. Call her Basty, miss high and mighty or some thing along the line the whole time.

15. Tell her that you saw Revan kissing Juhani down the corridor.

16. Ad that they were talking about getting babies.

17. Send her the book," 1001 ways to kill the annoying Bastila Shan".

18. Then when you see it later, ask if you can borrow it, because you need some relaxed reading to fall asleep.

19. Later, tell her that you saw Revan and Juhani out shopping for baby clothing.

20. All those involving Revan and Juhani, is to be told after Revan confessed that he love Bastila.

21. When confronting Bastila in the temple, ask her what her father would say if he saw his daughter now and tell her," shame on you".

22. Ask her if she likes Canderous and if she says no tell her that she hurt Candy's feelings.

23. Set her up for a date with either Carth or Canderous.

24. Start singing over the com on the Ebon Hawk," Carth and Bastila sitting in a three, K-I-S-S-I-N-G".

25. The above can also be used with Canderous or if you like M Revan.

26. Ask her if she thinks Juhani's hot.

27. The same goes for Carth, Canderous and Revan and don't forget Vrook or Jolee.

28. Make a fake photo of her kissing with Revan and show it to the Jedi counsel. Any other male or female character would do nicely.

29. Record her confession to Revan and twist it a bit and spice it up, a lot.

30. Then show it to the Jedi Counsel. The two above could be done together or even with photos of her kissing loads of other guys and girls.

31. Torture her to the darkside and make her your evil apprentice and don't forget to make her do your laundress, cook diner and loads of other things.

32. Get the book," 10 easy ways to brainwash a Jedi to do your bidding".

33. Use it on Bastila.

34. Force her to explain all this you so far have put her through, to the Jedi counsel.

35. Make a mod that allows Revan to confess his love for Juhani and her to Revan and force Bastila to play through that part, over and over again.

36. Then start writhing RevanJuhani love stories and force Bastila to listen to them all.

37. Play matchmaker for Revan and Juhani.

38. Play matchmaker for Bastila and Carth or Canderous.

39. Make Bastila watch as Revan confess that he loves Juhani.

40. Later force her to listen as Revan proposes to Juhani and then make her the one in the front seat as Revan and Juhani are married.

41. Make her baby sit Revan and Juhani's children's as they are out on their dates.

42. After matchmaking Bastila with Carth, Canderous or anyone else make them marry and have loads of kids.

43. Unleash the Bastila's haters on her.

44. Unleash the Bastila fanboy and make them fight over her.

45. Or instead of 39, 40 and 41 let her discover Revan and Juhani making out in the cargo hold.

46. Then later send her an invitation that says that she is invited to the wedding of Revan and Juhani.

47. Or alternative Revan and any other female in the game.

48. Make Revan start hating Bastila and say that he love Juhani and think that Bastila is ugly and Juhani is way more beautiful than Bastila.

All of these are to be use with a male Revan and Bastila loves Revan. Secret or not.

Hope you find this funny. R&R.


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